How to Use Nonviol2nt Communication in Your Relationships.

By Tânia Bello

One of the findings I had when I got to know the concept of Nonviol2nt Communication is that viol2nce can be very present in our communication, even if we are not aware of it.

A mother who tells her son that he is lazy, even with the intention of generating proactivity in him, is an example of how even good intentions can generate disastrous results, if translated into expressions of this type in our relationships.

Understanding Nonviol2nt Communication rationally is very simple, but as Marshall Rosenberg, its creator, said, the challenge for all of us is to practice it in our communicative relationships, with ourselves and with others. It is also in practice that its benefit lies. Imagine what the world would be like if everyone practiced it!

Also known as NVC, Nonviol2nt Communication can be used in intimate relationships, in family and community life, in schools, in organizations and institutions, in therapy and counseling, in diplomatic and commercial negotiations, and in disputes and conflicts of all kinds, such as international conflicts and judicial arbitration.

The NVC Process involves the observation of the concrete actions that affect our well-being, how we feel about what we are observing, the needs, values and desires that are generating our feelings and the concrete actions that we ask for in agreement with the other to enrich our lives. The best possible outcome is a win-win agreement, in which both parties involved benefit, however, this agreement does not always materialize and in intense conflicts the participation of one or more mediators is necessary.

I leave you with the words of Marshall Rosenberg, wishing that they inspire your practice:

"NVC is based on language and communication skills that strengthen our ability to remain human, even in adverse conditions. It helps us to connect with each other and with ourselves, allowing a natural compassion to flourish."